The Dark Passenger, a haiku

A dark passenger

Kill those that deserve to die

Monster born in blood

Horcruxes or Hallows, a haiku

Horcrux or hallow

The fate of all rests on this

A difficult choice

Eric, a haiku

Eric Cartman sulks

Screw you guys I'm going home

Cry baby fat ass

Life in Reverse, a Red Dwarf haiku

Life going backwards

Things begin to make more sense

But poo goes backwards!

One Man Army, a Rambo haiku

Rambo in Burma

Slaughters the whole damn country

Mr. Machete

Think McFly, a Back to the Future haiku

Up to eighty eight

Where we go we don't need roads

Travelling in time

Play the Game, A Game of Thrones Haiku

Play the Game of Thrones

By which I mean show your boobs

My kingdom for boobs

Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse, a Father Ted haiku

Kick him up the arse

Bishop Brennan might like it

Probably not though

Wring His Neck, a Simpsons haiku

Homer strangles Bart

That's a criminal offence

Lucky it's not real

2.B.A. Master, a Pokémon Haiku

To be a master

Got to fill that Pokédex

Gotta catch 'em all

I'm not even supposed to be here today!, a Clerks haiku

Dante's day from hell

I assure you we're open

Hockey on the roof

Snake In A Box, a haiku

Snake in cardboard box

The ultimate hiding place

The master of stealth

Never Returned Home, a Quantum Leap haiku

Looking to leap home

Putting right what was once wrong

Sam never got home

Short Changed By A Blue Man In His Underoos, a haiku

The power of heart

Not exactly fire is it?

"Thanks" Captain Planet!

Shane, A Walking Dead Limerick

There was once a man called Shane

Who went a little insane

He banged Rick's wife

Then tried to end his life

But ended up with a bullet in his brain

Everywhere a Cylon, a haiku

Well she's a Cylon

Fuck me he's a Cylon too

What, that guy as well?

Under The Dome, a haiku

Stephen King annoyed

Not seen The Simpsons Movie

Didn't rip it off!

Life's A Big Conspiracy, a haiku

Did Courtney kill Kurt?

Did Stephen King kill Lennon?

No this is bollocks

The Turd That Cracked The Case, a haiku

Hank went to the loo

Was just expecting to poo

Found the truth instead

A Fred and George Limerick

There once were two twins, George and Fred

What a mischievous life they led

Fought in a magical war

And showed evil the door

Shame one of them ended up dead

Buster Sword, a haiku

Cloud has spiky hair

And a massive fucking sword

Compensating much?

Remembering T Dog

An unwritten rule left unspoken

One black man to be a token

More than one means Highlander rules till the others are gone

Because there can be only one

Heisenberg, a haiku

Cooking crystal meth

Walter White soon corrupted

Becomes Heisenberg

Table of Death, a haiku

The table of death

Blood for a slide then cut up

Black bags in ocean

Princess Leia's Bikini, A Haiku

Leia's bikini

A disturbance in the force

And one in my pants

Khan! A Haiku

KHAAAAAAAN! KHAAAAAAAN! KHAAAAAAAN! I scream.

Wrath of Khan is just the best.

A shame about Spock.

A Toxic Avenger Limerick

His life used to be poxy

Then he became Toxie

Now he pulls of people's heads

And it's blind women he beds

Oh how grand life can be!

A Saved By The Bell Limerick

There was a boy called Zack

Who wanted to get Kelly in the sack

He tried to trick her

So that he could dick her

Now she's flat on her back!

A Star Wars Limerick

There was a young man from Tatooine

He had the greatest adventure you'd ever seen

He tried to emulate his dad

But got depressed when he discovered he was bad

Oh what a pisser that had been!

A Harry Potter Limerick

There was a boy born in July

Only famous because he didn't die

He had a scar on his head

A memento of not being dead

Shame he's been living a lie!

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Limerick

There were four turtles so green

A well oiled ninja machine

They shredded the Shredder

Now he's much deader

And they were never seen!

That Ol' Kiriyama Spirit

Could you do it? They ask
Could you kill your best friend?
I like to think I’d be up to the task
I could dish out a merciful end

Does the Battle Royale programme accept volunteers?
I’d be an efficient killing machine
I’d hunt them down and prey on their fears
I’d be the greatest warrior they’d ever seen

I’ll strangle and garot
I’ll stab and I’ll shoot
It’ll be murder and mayhem as I slaughter the lot.
Oh my, it’ll be a hoot.

Hand me a knife, hand me a gun
I’ll take a pointy stick or even a pot lid
Tool me up, sit back and enjoy the fun
They’ll all say there’s something special about that kid

The bodies will pile up and soon we’ll face the end
A final bloody showdown between you and I
Now ask me if I can kill my best friend
And I will say “now its time for you to die!”